You're an awesome person. Not growing up doesn't make you less. It doesn't mean that you're not enough of something for me.
[He moves just a fraction closer, feet hardly seeming to flicker against the rug. Parts of him aren't entirely solid right now, faded out with tension.]
I just... I got too old. That's not on anyone, it just happened.
[ Matthew looks up again, and seeing Noah fading against the carpet causes him to immediately draw away from Nacho, to get back to his feet. ]
Noah... Don't. Don't be sad. It's okay. I understand. [ Some of it, and he's trying hard to understand the rest. Hesitantly, he reaches out, placing a hand on Noah's arm, gently trying to hold him in the real world. ]
Sometimes things just happen. I wanted-- I wanted to grow up with you. But that's not how it went.
[ He gives Noah's arm a light squeeze, though not on purpose. ]
Is it okay... if I still love you? [ Can they still be friends, even if Matthew hasn't changed? Even if his feelings haven't gone away? He desperately hopes so, more than anything right now, but Noah has to be the one to decide that too. ]
[Matthew's hand does it's job, grounding him back into solidity. His eyes blink, still shaded with guilt, but also wet with relief and hope.
He understands. Matthew understands. He's sad, and that was always going to be the case, but they haven't lost each other.]
Yes.
[Noah nods, barely even pausing to think about it. Anything Matthew wants, anything he's comfortable with. He's made both of and for love - how could anyone ask him to change?]
[ Matthew drops his head forward in relief, and when he lifts it again, there's a small but warm smile on his face. ]
It'd only make me sad if you didn't want me to anymore.
[ He honestly has no idea what he would have done if Noah'd said no. Now that Matthew loves him, he doesn't think he can turn it off again. He thought at first it might happen on its own, that his love would fade until his and Noah's feelings lined up naturally again, but that's not how it's going. And now he's glad; he's not sure he's quite ready to let go of this change in himself that made him more than what he used to be. ]
I don't want to pretend it never happened, or-- or anything like that. If it's okay. [ His heart is still so full. No matter what happens from now on, Noah gave him that. ] I think us dating was sort of a miracle. [ Wait, does that sound silly? He shakes his head, and continues with characteristic Matthew Lynch earnestness. ] I just have to-- figure out how it all works now.
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almost sent you this from the mod account
[He moves just a fraction closer, feet hardly seeming to flicker against the rug. Parts of him aren't entirely solid right now, faded out with tension.]
I just... I got too old. That's not on anyone, it just happened.
moderator Noah, too old for this
Noah... Don't. Don't be sad. It's okay. I understand. [ Some of it, and he's trying hard to understand the rest. Hesitantly, he reaches out, placing a hand on Noah's arm, gently trying to hold him in the real world. ]
Sometimes things just happen. I wanted-- I wanted to grow up with you. But that's not how it went.
[ He gives Noah's arm a light squeeze, though not on purpose. ]
Is it okay... if I still love you? [ Can they still be friends, even if Matthew hasn't changed? Even if his feelings haven't gone away? He desperately hopes so, more than anything right now, but Noah has to be the one to decide that too. ]
no subject
He understands. Matthew understands. He's sad, and that was always going to be the case, but they haven't lost each other.]
Yes.
[Noah nods, barely even pausing to think about it. Anything Matthew wants, anything he's comfortable with. He's made both of and for love - how could anyone ask him to change?]
As long as it doesn't make you sadder.
no subject
It'd only make me sad if you didn't want me to anymore.
[ He honestly has no idea what he would have done if Noah'd said no. Now that Matthew loves him, he doesn't think he can turn it off again. He thought at first it might happen on its own, that his love would fade until his and Noah's feelings lined up naturally again, but that's not how it's going. And now he's glad; he's not sure he's quite ready to let go of this change in himself that made him more than what he used to be. ]
I don't want to pretend it never happened, or-- or anything like that. If it's okay. [ His heart is still so full. No matter what happens from now on, Noah gave him that. ] I think us dating was sort of a miracle. [ Wait, does that sound silly? He shakes his head, and continues with characteristic Matthew Lynch earnestness. ] I just have to-- figure out how it all works now.