[ He still doesn't believe it...but alright, if Ronan doesn't lie, then that's probably the reason why Matthew's such a shitty liar to begin with. And there's undoubtedly no way that Gansey or Adam taught the boy to lie, that isn't something friends teach their friend's younger brother. Do parents teach children to lie? Dorian doesn't know and he doesn't remember. If they do, well the Lynch family obviously failed at THAT.
So, he's come to the conclusion it's entirely possible that nobody taught this child how to lie.
That honestly explains a lot. ]
A piece of useful life advice: the best lies always contain as much truth as possible, but with a few key details changed. If you asked me what I was doing last night and I said I spent the night volunteering at a soup kitchen, you wouldn't believe that in a heartbeat. If I said that I spent most of last night at the bar, then that's expected of me, even though it's an utter lie.
Another piece of advice: if someone else can pierce a hole in your lie, don't include them in the story. Again, ask me what I was doing last night, I might say that I spent the night with my dear friend Elsa Brandt. Believable? Yes. But all it takes is you casually asking Elsa about last night for that lie to collapse.
Now, do try to be better this time: what happened?
[ ... What? What? Matthew just squints at the text for about three straight minutes; this feels like reading from the textbook of a class he's never attended.
(Declan would understand. The Lynch family didn't utterly fail their sons in the lying department; it just so happens that, due to necessity and extreme unfairness, one brother's ability far surpasses that of the other two. Far, far surpasses.)
[ God he is so disappointed. Well, at least Matthew put in effort, even if it's a failed attempt because Dorian is a nosy shit.. ]
Piece of advice #3: before lying, if possible, check your story with other people. I asked Gansey if I could bring over soup or buy you the really good cold medicine. He said no.
The phone getting lost is plausible though, points for that.
[ Good grief, Dorian, that's like three different things he's supposed to remember while making things up on the spot. He can't do all that! This is going to be a mess when he has to go back to work and school. Also, hang on-- ]
you wanted to bring soup?
[ He might be a little touched if he weren't relieved that this did not happen. ]
I'll take your word for it. But please, if something like whatever happened happens again, don't be afraid to ask for help. There are people of all sorts in this world—who knows, one of them might be able to fix what went wrong.
[ Matthew doesn't quite know what to say to that, because--well. He has no idea what anybody else could do about his particular situation. So this is another delayed reply. ]
i don't think it'll happen again
[ God, he hopes not, at least. Please do not get Ported out again, Ronan. ]
can i ask you something? that doesnt have anything to do with the other thing?
[ There's a pause of few minutes before Dorian sends off the text. ]
It depends. Here, everyone's already so strange that someone like me is hardly strange in comparison. But back home? Some people managed to adapt wonderfully. Some people are terrified. I've had both people who tolerate my immortality and people who've tried to kill me because of it. It makes matters worse that half the time, my immortality is revealed in less than ideal situations to begin with.
[ People have tried to kill him because he's immortal? That's unsettling. And awful. Also. Seems like it should be obviously impossible, to Matthew, but what does he know about trying to kill people. ]
like what kind of situations? and what about your friends they dont flip out over it do they?
Well, it depends. Some of them flipped out. Some of them took it better. As for the situations...well, someone thought I was a monstrous scientific experiment reject one time.
[ Matthew said his question was unrelated to the prior topic but it's really not and Dorian's answers aren't quite as reassuring as he'd hoped they'd be. "No one treated me differently and no one thought I was strange even though I'm different from them", is more the kind of thing Matthew wanted to hear. ]
but that was just one time like you said the experiment reject thing most people wouldn't think that probably
Most people didn't know about my immortality to begin with. And, at least for me, it usually got revealed in situations where immortality was the least weird thing we encountered.
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[ If Matthew were someone else, he might be regretting that he woke up at all right now. ]
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[ time to just give Matthew shit for the next few days. ]
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i dont have mono. that was a lie okay?
[ This is the worst. ]
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[ he shall get an answer by being a DELIBERATE ANNOYANCE ]
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nothing
[ THAT'S BELIEVABLE, RIGHT? ]
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[ IT IS NOT BELIEVABLE IN THE SLIGHTEST ]
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[ There's no delay on this reply. ]
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[ dodo's calling bullshit ]
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[ Even after everything, this is one thing Matthew's sure about. ]
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So, he's come to the conclusion it's entirely possible that nobody taught this child how to lie.
That honestly explains a lot. ]
A piece of useful life advice: the best lies always contain as much truth as possible, but with a few key details changed. If you asked me what I was doing last night and I said I spent the night volunteering at a soup kitchen, you wouldn't believe that in a heartbeat. If I said that I spent most of last night at the bar, then that's expected of me, even though it's an utter lie.
Another piece of advice: if someone else can pierce a hole in your lie, don't include them in the story. Again, ask me what I was doing last night, I might say that I spent the night with my dear friend Elsa Brandt. Believable? Yes. But all it takes is you casually asking Elsa about last night for that lie to collapse.
Now, do try to be better this time: what happened?
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(Declan would understand. The Lynch family didn't utterly fail their sons in the lying department; it just so happens that, due to necessity and extreme unfairness, one brother's ability far surpasses that of the other two. Far, far surpasses.)
That said, prepare to be disappointed, Dorian. ]
i had the flu
and my phone got lost
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Piece of advice #3: before lying, if possible, check your story with other people. I asked Gansey if I could bring over soup or buy you the really good cold medicine. He said no.
The phone getting lost is plausible though, points for that.
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you wanted to bring soup?
[ He might be a little touched if he weren't relieved that this did not happen. ]
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[ and it would serve as a good excuse to see what's up. ]
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[ Wrong, but can they please just keep going with that. ]
thanks
anyway like i said everythings fine now
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[ and then Dorian can pump them for info! ]
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i don't think it'll happen again
[ God, he hopes not, at least. Please do not get Ported out again, Ronan. ]
can i ask you something?
that doesnt have anything to do with the other thing?
[ Nothing at all to do with the other thing. ]
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[ And who knows, maybe he'll be honest about the answer. ]
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It depends. Here, everyone's already so strange that someone like me is hardly strange in comparison. But back home? Some people managed to adapt wonderfully. Some people are terrified. I've had both people who tolerate my immortality and people who've tried to kill me because of it. It makes matters worse that half the time, my immortality is revealed in less than ideal situations to begin with.
[ like supernatural monsters or demonic drugs ]
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like what kind of situations?
and what about your friends
they dont flip out over it do they?
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As for the situations...well, someone thought I was a monstrous scientific experiment reject one time.
[ loooooong story ]
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[ Matthew said his question was unrelated to the prior topic but it's really not and Dorian's answers aren't quite as reassuring as he'd hoped they'd be. "No one treated me differently and no one thought I was strange even though I'm different from them", is more the kind of thing Matthew wanted to hear. ]
but that was just one time like you said
the
experiment reject thing
most people wouldn't think that
probably
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[ like golems and demons ]
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i think that makes sense
[ Maybe??? Does it?? ]
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